____her.violent.gypsy.dance.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-05-02T11:30:00

2005-04-03T03:35:06Z

MOVED;

byebye bulletsxkisses.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-30T21:04:00

2005-03-30T13:09:10Z

i used to be so much cooler and i miss talking to nes and aisyah.

p.s:// yes i read back my old entries and brought back all the memories. remember jeez kejeebers? LOL.

last entry.

2005-03-30T07:04:35Z

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY MYDARLINGVEGGIEBOY!!!!!!

i really hope you like the present i got you, sweetie. even though it kinda sucks cause i wanted to buy you something else but things didn't work out cause it's too big. and then violet and diana and i decided that it's the next best thing so they dragged me to the counter before they could smack my head with the clothes rack cause i was so skeptical and kept asking so many questions. come to think of it, they could have lied to me and said it was nice cause they were sick and tired of walking back and forth far east plaza 5 times already and listening to me whining "where??? where??? why don't have nice nice things?!?!?!?! STRESSSSS!!!!". buttttt i don't think my girlfriends are THAT bad riiiight? hehe. love you guys so much for putting up with a present-shopping disaster. anyway, the boy just msged me:

"baby, thanks for the gift. i love it as much as i love you! =D take care k. have a good day. *tell your friends thanks aight."

*cause my friends screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! to him when we met at the locker area. he blushed and ran away.

mmmkay. have been on hiatus cause i'm lazy and i don't find LJ appealing anymore. don't know if i'll be back but if i move (which i DEFINITELY will), I'LL BE SURE TO INFORM ALL YOU LOVELIES!

SO, MOVED!!!

i will miss this journal. and all the stupid old entries i wrote when i first created it. and all the nice entries when i have my muse with me. AND ALL YOU LOVELIES WHO MAKE MY DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

the end.

graphics mode overload/goodbye sayonara.

2005-03-26T04:33:45Z

presents and the yummy angie the choice cake.

the birthday boy frantically ripping the wrapping paper.

the birthday boy looking very happy.. umm not really.

the girlfriends<33333!

don't ask.

PE is sexy.

typical toilet-mirror-reflection pic.

typical toilet-mirror-reflection pic part 2.

please mind the stupid faces.

lin. the resident slapstick queen.

this is what we do when we're bored. DONKEY WILL ALWAYS BRIGHTEN UP OUR DAY!

my-darling-veggie-boy and his lover, yogi bear.

eh eh. sempat hindustan seh!

HIGH TEA AT EQUINOX

a very excited siti m and diana.

syaheerah the guest of the day. tee hee.

the view from the top. spy spiky durians?

the slapstick couple. funny people indeed.

a truly happy yat!

the girls.

the gang.

the toilet is gorgeous.

ahem. posing sikit. hee.

fin.

i'm moving but i'm not telling where unless i love you.
this journal is nothing but a bad memory.
you'll hear from me soon enough.
promise.

HIGH TEA? GLAMOUR NYE! NYEHEHE!

2005-03-23T12:42:02Z

fuck LJ. something's wrong but i dunno how to fix it. entries won't appear on my friend's page no matter how much i try to refresh it. even cleaned out the cookies but NO GO. on the verge of giving the monitor one tight slap and a smack down. anyhoo! had high tea with the gang at EQUINOX!!! this evening. went home trying my best to conceal a 5-months-pregnant-ish stomach on the mrt. (NOTE TO SELF: SUCKING IN YOUR STOMACH WHEN YOU'RE BLOODY FULL TO THE MAXIMUM IS STUPID. UNLESS YOU'RE MAD WANT TO EXPERIENCE PUKING IN PUBLIC.) will update more abt this with pictures tomorrow! morning date with thedarlingboy tmr too! can't wait! can't wait! miss him and his crazy antics even though we just went out yesterday. lurpyoumanymanysayangku! i burned my tongue while eating pasta just now. i can still feel the sore buds protruding whenever i scrape my teeth against it. stupid hollow pasta with hot sauce hiding in the middle and squirting out, burning my tongue when i bite into it. fucken mostaccioli. i hate you. american idols sucks to the core. don't they know reality tv just don't have the kick after the 2nd season? blockheads, i tell you.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-17T10:35:00

2005-03-17T03:04:12Z

i skipped the first lesson of the day for the second time because of the same obvious reason that i need more sleep. i think that makes me a very selfish person cause if other people can wake up in time for school regardless, then why can't i? but then i don't fucking care. i am tired. i am sleepy. i need more sleep. so to hell with the other people who can wake up early.

diana smsed me around 8 something and said that the other two lessons are cancelled and that they'll be dismissed at 11. i got so happy, i started to snore right back to la la land. so fast forward 2 hours later and HERE I AM.

software engineering test tomorrow and i can't find the damn book. trashed the locker and my room but still no book. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THINGS NOWADAYS?!? HOW COME THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ME??? so worst come to worst if i can't find my book by today, i'll be handing up a blank piece of paper.hee. fun.

will be going swimming later with the mom, the aunts and the little kiddies. mom thought i skipped lessons just so i could go swimming. what a stupid theory.

the cable is still with eera. so can't upload the pics yet. she called me up late last night and we started talking abt her bf and stuff. got off the phone pretty late which is part of why i couldn't wake up this morning.

talked to mushroom late last night too. told him about my insecurities about going into a relationship after having my heart smashed countless times. i said that i don't think he will be that heartless but it's just the fear, you know? i guess they way he put everything into place just reassured me. that and the fact that i know he's definitely sincere. so, why not?

i hate people who give anonymous and stupid comments. and their english stinks.

and does anybody have car underwater from armor for sleep? can't seem to download it anywhere! and their website only allows you to listen to it and not download it. so if any of you lovelies, have it, pretty please send it to me? i would love you forever!

okay bye.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-16T14:47:00

2005-03-16T07:16:54Z

i need:

$10 to buy the gorgeous polka-dot roxy wallet from eBay.
$20 to pay off my debt with the mom.
$17 for the promised tickets to watch the Spongebob movie with Rio.
$30+ to get a nice band shirt for mushroom for his 20th bday. possibly The Used.
$20 to go for high tea at syaheerah's workplace at Equinox with the gang.
endless supply of cash to last me the rest of my life.

so March is such a pocket-burner. i am left with only $4 and i need a job badly. i am so desperate, i am on the verge of prancing over to Changi to sell off my ass for some moolahs. tsk. what a shame.

on the side note, i get very annoyed easily nowadays. must be pms but i shall not be a disgrace and blame everything on pms. some people are becoming such annoyance. and it makes me plain mad. i wish i can shove a donkey up their nose but i don't have a donkey. and neither do i have the strength to heave a donkey so let's just forget about it for now.

in visual basic class now and we'll be having a theory test in about 14 mins time so that suck balls. didn't study a single thing so if i manage to do even one question, it'll be pure dumb luck with a pinch of some lovin' from that guy up there. hehe.

ah fuck it. have to go hand up my assignments now so i'd better ciao.

i hate school.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-15T21:04:00

2005-03-15T13:11:39Z

FUCK LAH.
I'M FUCKEN ANGRY.
A BIG FUCK YOU TO MY BROTHER'S USB CABLE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL YOU WENT.
TURNED THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN AND STILL NO YOU.
SO!! FUCK!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEP. I'M FUCKING MAD JUST BECAUSE OF A STUPID USB CABLE.
MY HOPES OF UPLOADING PICS AND UPDATING ARE SO SHATTERED.
JFKHBFGWKFHGDSKFGBW2#%#$^fSADNWDGIUHS!!!KF4#$^#$@JH!!!!!
AND MOM ISN'T MAKING IT ANY BETTER BY IGNORING MY SCREAMS.

"HOI!!!!! WHERE THE USB CABLE!?!!?!?!??!?!"

-mom glance at dee. blank face. faint shrug-

SLAMS DOOR. INCOHERENT CURSING. TRASHES BOOKSHELF. SLAMS DRAWERS. UNINTELLIGIBLE SCREAMINGS. MORE SLAMMINGS. MORE TRASHING. MORE GRUNTS AND "ERGHHHH!" AND FINALLY THROWS THINGS ON THE FLOOR.

-mom looks at dee. rolls eyes. reads the papers-

KWJFGWQILUFGWOFWHFWGVBABFKWEGF!!!!KHFEUIWH!!!!FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!!

ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!
MAD! RAGE! ALL NEGATIVE THINGS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-12T05:16:42Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY DEAREST!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR EVERY SINGLE THING THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME. YOU'RE THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD AND EVEN THOUGH YOU CALL ME SPONGEBOB DESIPANTS, I STILL LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING CAUSE I WAS BROKE AND STILL HAVE THE CHEEK TO BORROW $20 FROM YOU. HEHEHE. I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE AND YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST, KINDEST AND MOST LOVING HEART I'VE EVER KNOWN. NO ONE CAN REPLACE MY WONDERFUL MOMMY!!! I <3 YOU! ♥ ♥ ♥!!!!!

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-11T17:17:00

2005-03-11T10:06:10Z

today mushroom was sick. REAL SICK. he kept throwing up and his head was spinning so bad, he was almost staggering. i felt bad for not being able to do anything except rubbing his back patting him to sleep. haha. LOUSY DEE! initially we wanted to go to city hall to hang out but we stopped at queenstown cause he wanted to puke. took the train again and alighted at tiong bahru cause he felt like throwing up again. dee feels bad to the power of 63627538! so we went to BK and tried to fill his empty stomach. bought hot tea and double cheeseburger but after one bite, off to the loo to blech it all out. aiyoh. at this point of time, i was so lost. i've got no potential to become a nurse. whkhakha. tried to be as helpful as possible to make up for the lack of efficiency and he said i am such a loving person. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

i snorted out my cheesesticks and started choking.

so after that i know that he was in no condition to go any further so i insisted that i see him home just in case he pass out along the way or something. he laughed at me and said that there's no such thing as sending a guy back home so i told him he should be damn proud for making history. anyway, he kept saying sorry for screwing the plans up and he looked so sad and forlorn while saying that, that my heart just went awww for him. hahaha. i kept assuring him that it's okay cause i really don't mind it at all. i mean, come on lah, he's sick and only an inhuman person would sulk for that reason. so yep, sent him all the way to the stairs somemore. hehehe. kissed me goodbye and gave me a super duper big hug for "caring so much about me". whakhakha!

met mom and aunty dearest at Lot1 afterwards. they were shopping so i tagged along. got 2 nice pair of earrings and some handphone thingy. nice nice. told them about mushroom and my aunt went "awww, my poor nephew-in-law". WTF. my 12 yr old cousin lost his 6610i at the arcade and that caused quite a stir for like 10 minutes. luckily his friend found it on the floor and returned it. TSK. KIDS. SO CARELESS.

had my maths re-test today. I AM SO CONFIDENT!!!!!!!

CONFIDENT THAT I WILL FAIL AGAIN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! STUDIED ONLY ONE CHAPTER SO I ONLY KNOW HOW TO CONFIDENTLY DO LIKE 4 OR 5 QNS. BUT WHAT THE HELL, AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO DO SOME. RIGHT? I HOPE THAT I GET BETTER MARKS THOUGH. DOESN'T MATTER IF I FAIL AS LONG AS I GET HIGHER THAN 20/100 THIS TIME ROUND. A 40 WOULD BE PRETTY SUFFICIENT.

SEE? I GET SATISFIED EASILY.

HAHA. OKAY LAH. WANNA GO EAT ICE CREAM. BYEBYE!

P.S:// CEETEE, MY CAT IS LIKE ALMOST 2 YEARS OLD. SORRY AH, LAZY TO COMMENT BACK HEHE.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-03-10T10:02:00

2005-03-10T02:16:00Z

skipped networking fundamentals this morning cause i think i need more sleep. next class at 12.30 so i have to scoot! the possibility of meeting miss violet later on makes me HEEEEEPPY! i miss her like hell. and tmr! i have a shopping date with mushroom! and today! smart classroom! can see mushroom again! bwahahaha. okay. okay bye.

FOR YOU.

2005-03-08T10:23:32Z

okay. enough is enough. this issue has gone too far and i need to sort out all the conflicting emotions that's driving me up the wall. just like what nic wrote on his journal, i want to clear things up on my journal too. i don't think it's very fair for me to be portrayed as the bitch who dated another guy after being dumped by her boyfriend after what? 14 days?

first of all, i don't want to play the blame game by just pointing the finger at him. there's no one solely to blame here. we both are at fault for our crumbling relationship. i do admit that at times i tend to be abit demanding. and it doesn't help that he's spending his time focusing on his games as well. and hey, from that point onwards, it's pretty much a no brainer. would a girl stick around when the guy won't devote his time on her? i'm not saying devote completely but the least is to just try to be there for her? yes, i admit. his games have always bothered me. cause i always feel that i come second to his game. it's always his games. and sometimes it gets very frustrating. i know that this is very trivial and childish but it bugs me that he can't even see me home on valentine's day and on our 6 months anniversary because of his game. yes. stupid. childish. but it bothered me because it tells me that if he prioritise his games even at the early stages of the relationship then it's basically downhill from there onwards. i'm not saying this to make him look bad or anything. i just want to say how i feel.

another thing is, religion. he's a catholic and i'm a muslim. and his parents being staunch catholics, are of course, not very pleased with our relationship. and since i will NEVER convert over, this just spells out that there is no future in our relationship. and of course when you are in a relationship, chances are that you would probably want it to last till marriage. but how do you keep a relationship going when you know there's a dead end somewhere? especially when that relation is as shaky as the boogie-woogie? he wasn't very optimistic either. even when i asked him why he stayed on when he knows that there is no future for us, i can't get an answer. so how? unless i'm in love with emotional suicide, i'd get out.

when he broke up with me, i was beyond heart-broken. i cried and cried and cried till my eyes got so swollen i could hardly see. i burst into tears just about anywhere. in the toilet, while walking, in the class, even when i'm standing. i can't stop the tears. i couldn't believe he would do that to me. i thought i meant the world to him and to see him just let me go just like that, it breaks my heart. and also, i didn't understand why he left me. i told him that once and he said that if i didn't know why he left me then i should start to reflect on what i did wrong. when i said i don't know what i did wrong, he told me to stop ruining our relationship as friends. like wth? i still remembered what he said. every word i cried, i meant and every reply he breathes, i stuck it on my mind. i remember the day i begged him not to leave me. it was on the mrt platform and i was wailing. he didn't even flinch. his face remained emotionless. i felt like punching him just to see the hurt on his face. in his monotonous voice, he said that there's NOTHING LEFT and he don't want to be with me. i went home with a bleeding heart.

few days later i asked him if there's any possiblity of us getting back together. he said i don't know. he said take it as NO. and that supposedly if he wants me back and if i was with another guy, he would wait for me. i went home in the rain listening to sheila on 7, crying.

so there was this guy. let's just call him mushroom. well mushroom is this cute guy that my friends and i worship. he was the cutest things ever and we find him very amusing. everytime we have lessons in the smart classroom, we would never fail to glance back just to see him and giggle like ditzy schoolkids. okay so after like 10 days into the breakup, i found that mushroom was the guy who used to sms me back in Semester 1. which is last year. i started to get all excited cause well, he's very cute. and he looks like adam lazzara. so i was screaming at the thought of having his number all these while so i smsed him asking if he's really mushroom. he said yes. i shrieked. i danced. call it a shot of euphoria. so well, after that we started to exchange sms again and he asked me out during the weekend. i said that sounds great and so we went out and had a great time. that's not a crime, right? after all, i'm no longer attached and it seems like the ex-boyfriend won't come back to me. i'm moving on. i'm happy. the more time i spend with mushroom, the more we find out that we have tons of things in common. and he makes me laugh alot. we click very very well. that's wonderful, no?

see, i have no intention of hurting him. like he wanted me to, i'm moving on. and he doesn't seem to like it very much. i have never cheated on him. i have never lied. i have never backstabbed him. not even an ounce of betrayal. so why does he make it seem like i'm the cheating bitch? sure, i admit that i moved on quickly. too quickly perhaps. but mushroom's not even my boyfriend. we're friends. maybe you could say we're dating but i don't want to rush into things and let the vicious cycle repeat the pattern. this time i want to make it last and it's still gonna take time for me to get to know him better. for me to know how sincere he is. how genuine. and how he's feeling towards me. it takes time. but i'll be patient nevertheless.

things have been turning quite well for me nowadays. but it's unfair for me to be happy knowing that he's wallowing himself in self pity. i just want to tell you that it's not your fault. stop blaming yourself for losing me or whatever. feelings change and at this moment, i don't feel anything for you anymore. it might be too fast but hey, who's to say what's fast or not? i have always strongly believed that everything happens for a reason and God always has a plan for everything. maybe we're just not meant to be together. maybe we're the starcrossed lovers that you have always said we were. maybe God just have a better girl out there for you. sorry if i have hurt you. i never meant any wrongdoings. but i want to thank you for the times we spent together. thank you for the joy that you have once given me. thank you for everything. i'm sorry that it didn't turn out the way we wanted it to be. life's full of surprises, right?

mmmmmmmmjutk?

2005-03-02T12:54:28Z

NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR!
FOUND OUT THAT ANDI HAD BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF ULTRA COOL GLASSES AND I'M JEALOUSSSSS.
SO SINCE HE'S IN HIS CAMP RIGHT NOW AND WON'T BE HOME UNTIL FRIDAY, RIO AND I TRIED IT OUT FOR HIM!
BWAHAHA! IT'S SO GORGEOUSSS! SEE ME PRANCING AROUND IN IT EVEN THOUGH IT MADE ME DIZZY!

it's thick! and black!

don't mind the semi-retarded face. look at the specs!

kinda expands at the end making it look sort of cat-eyed. NICE!

looks good on a 12yr old, no?

so THE RIO AND I thinks that we siblings should all get the same pair to signify uniformity or to put it simply, SIBLINGS PRIDE. wakaka.

nic brought the film to school today SO WE TRIED OUT THE LOMO!!!!!! IT WAS SO FUN! BUT FIGURING OUT HOW TO TWIST AND TURN THE THINGY THINGY WAS KINDA COMPLICATED. BUT STILL! IT WAS FUN FUN FUN!! AND THE GANG ENJOYED POSING AND MOVING THE CAMERA WHILE CLICKING THE SHUTTER AND TAKING PICS OF CUTE GUYS SHAKING THEIR BOTTLE DRINKS HEHE. thanks for the film nic! muchos gracias!

waiting for me grandma to come. haven't seen her in quite a while and she's having some health problems. can't eat certain food or else her leg will swell real bad. a definite bummer for someone as active as her. she's still enjoying working and going shopping. hehe! me grandma is cool for someone her age, aye?!

should stop listening to too many indonesian songs. Cokelat, Sheila on 7, Peterpan OUT YOU GO! but really, i prefer indonesian songs to malaysian. malaysian bands are so JIWANG. and HAHA not to be mean or what lah but their sense of fashion is so haywire. macam obit gitu.

there's this guy who keeps smsing me. his name is fairuz and he's (like syaheerah & diana would say) AN IRRITATING BUGGER! bloody hell. still can't get my hint after i've not replied to your 398374398 messages?!? go screw a donkey. plus, his english is so horrible. not that i'm saying my english is fantastic or what but then, aiyoh. half of the time, i can't make out what he's saying so YEP. IRRITATING BUGGER.

THE AMAZING RACE 7 TONIGHT!
DON'T FORGET TO WATCH IT GUYS!
OKAY? OKAY SET!

okay, it's tv time.

ciao bella!

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-02-26T15:41:00

2005-02-26T07:46:19Z

for you lovelies whom i have not added up.
i've changed to;

ohtriggerclicker@hotmail.com

the previous mail was giving me problems so yep.
okay bye.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-02-02T14:53:00

2005-02-02T07:12:34Z

i've been so busy, i hardly have the time to use the computer leisurely nowadays. haha. i feel so corporate. assignments are piling on top of one another like dead fish and i've barely even started. siti came over yesterday night to finish up her dreamweaver project and we ended up re-doing everything. she left at 10.30 and after i sent her home, i realised i have to re-do mine as well. *slits wrist with a lava lamp* so i trashed the computer and cried my ass out. i slept at 2 and woke up at 6. fantastic. dozed off during maths class while Mr Retro droned on and on about his wife or something like that. in visual basic class now and i should know better than to update my journal when Mr Asshole is "teaching". oh well. we are supposed to go home at 2.30 today cause they have some meeting/talk whatever. but some asswipe blasted loudly some lousy music and kept talking so Mr Asshole got angry and he said we'll be going home at 5 instead. DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE LIFE! DFJHDJKFHDJKFSHDUIGFSHDJVKSBHSUGKSHGJDFNVS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna go wee-wee now.
byebye.

bulletsxkisses @ 2005-01-27T20:09:00

2005-01-27T12:14:15Z

i can't decide if it's a funeral under my block or a karaoke competition. if you happen to live in choa chu kang, drop by block 210 and tell me, can? okay thanks.

p.s:// i am considering switching my journal back to public-only.

bulletsxkisses @ 2004-12-29T13:45:00

2004-12-29T05:50:25Z

BLOODY STARHUB HAS BARRED ANY OUTGOING CALLS/SMS ON MY HANDPHONE SO SORRY IF I DIDN'T REPLY TO ANY OF YOUR SMS. THIS IS FUCKED UP BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY PAID $140. FUCK STARHUB, I'M SWITCHING OVER TO SINGTEL.

bulletsxkisses @ 2004-12-09T09:20:00

2004-12-09T01:29:22Z

i'm leaving in forty minutes.
and i have yet to finish packing.
off to indonesia i go!
see ya in four days.

bulletsxkisses @ 2004-11-17T21:41:00

2004-11-17T13:48:31Z

i found out that people who shouldn't be reading my journal are reading my journal and i DO NOT like the intrusion of privacy.

therefore, from now on;

you know the drill.
grab a chair and read my entries.
if not, make a journal or hack into my account.

i'm sorry i had to resort to this.
people suck.

bulletsxkisses @ 2004-10-19T17:57:00

2004-10-19T10:06:08Z

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
you make me happy when skies are grey.
you'll never know dear, how much i love you!
please don't take my sunshine awaaay!